My Relationship With…What Has Served Me

Well, it has been a while since my last post, and there is no real reason why I have not written in such a long time. Life happens: a new job, a new place, a needy dog, attempts at traveling, attempts at dating. I just have not had the time (and have realized I rely way too much on Twitter as my personal journal when a friend texted me about my sad retweets a few weeks ago). I turned 27 last month, and as per usual (aside from the usual crisis about growing up), I have spent the last month reflecting on recent changes: the biggest one being letting go of what does not serve me anymore, whether it is a person or a hobby or a job or some sort of thing.

Over the last few months, I have had to let go of long-time friends, a job, and situationships that just did not fit in my life anymore. Many people (including myself) try to hold onto people and things because we find them comfortable or because they have been in our lives for a long time. Time does not mean everything. We grow up. We change (or do not change). Priorities and responsibilities change. What might be important to one person might not align with what is important to another. What you might see as an issue might be seen as a non-factor for someone else. What might be seen as horrible decisions by one person might be seen as a good time by another.

I tend to be dramatic when it comes to life changes and getting over things, and I use it as an excuse to ugly cry whenever I get the chance (ask my cousin/roommate), but every day should serve as a stepping stone. With all the changes, I initially tried to keep myself busy as a way to not think about them, but I eventually realized that was me trying to avoid any sort of processing, and the more I delayed it, the harder it was to get over. I know I am a person who just always experiences a continuous roulette of feelings. Everyone gets over change differently: for me, I realized my sweet spot was giving myself two days (if possible) to be one with my feelings and watch sad movies. After that, it is time to get up and moving; if I give myself more than two days, I tend to start thinking about what could have been. “If I did not go out on that day, this would not have happened.” “If I went home at this time, this would not have happened.” “If I just had communicated about that issue, we would still be talking.” What good does that do though? I do believe everything happens for a reason, and while it might be a slap in the face at the moment, in a few months, I know I will think back to this time and realize how happy I am with the way things turned out. Think about how many changes we have gone through and how we probably thought it was the end of the world at that moment. Now, here we are. Days, weeks, months, or years later laughing at how we felt in the moment.

To the things and people no longer around me – thank you for teaching me whatever lesson you taught me. Whether it was good, bad, or ugly or whether it was about what I want in a career or a relationship. While I do miss these things and people from time to time, that is a natural feeling, and it is okay to feel that. Feel it for however long you need, wrap it up, and toss it to the side when you are good to go. To the things and people that still surround me – thank you for pushing me and helping me be my best self.

Moral of the story: just because something or someone does not serve you anymore (or, on the other hand, you do not serve them), it does not mean it has to be something that is sad or upsetting. Life moves at a rapid pace. You can be friends with someone since the age of 10, but if the “grown-up” versions of you both are different, there is a possibility the friendship won’t be the same (a la Issa and Molly from “Insecure”). You can love a job, but if you are overworked and not recognized for the effort you have put in, it may be time to go. There is a time and place for everything and everyone. As long as you take lessons from each experience and apply them to the next, they have served their purpose.

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